Key no. 094

Thursday

Free Write

Allow the prompt to sink in and inspire you. Shoot for 234+ words. Stretch your imagination and aim for FICTION. Don’t forget to hold yourself accountable and drop it in the comments, then move along with your life.

4 Comments

  1. 10 Great Hacks for Microwave Users

    Are you frustrated by owning a microwave but not using it to its capacity? Me too. That’s why I decided to write this helpful booklet on alternative uses for a microwave.
    While a microwave has no instructions for this type of use, these are sure fire hacks that will expand your usage and make you feel like you’ve gotten more bang for your buck. Now supposedly it’s just a box for cooking but I have better ideas. Try these on for size and see if you agree.

    1. Use it as a make up holder.
    2. Store pictures in it.
    3. The outer glass makes a wonderful picture frame.
    4. If you shine up the glass really well, it makes a great mirror.
    5. Use it as a place to store your moldy bread so you don’t have to look at it.
    6. It is an excellent sock holder.
    7. I love to keep my goldfish in there especially since it has a nice big light.
    8. Other times when I get lonely I sing into the microwave in the microwave listens and the microwave loves me back.
    9. In a pinch a microwave can be used as a mini fridge.
    10. It’s a fantastic kennel for all you mini breed dog lovers out there.

    These are some of the many wonderful and useful ideas you can take advantage of as the proud owner of a microwave.

    Please subscribe to my channel, Peculiar Putterings. Thanks, peeps!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. [SPOILERS re: Infinite Jest by DFW]

    “I’m sure there are no instructions for such a suicide,” the woman informs her friend in a bit of mid-day gossip over coffee. “God forbid,” the friend whisper shouts. The two look each other in the eye and then eye their surroundings. The woman leans in and whispers, “I heard that he, he used aluminum foil to fill out the space between his neck and, you know, the hole.” “Shut up,” the friend gasps. “I can’t even,” the friend starts up, “I, I, I just. I can’t even say it.” “I know. Imagine the smell,” the woman consoles. “I can’t. I mean, what are we supposed to do now with a friend in the neighborhood with a husband who off’d himself like that?” the friend sniffles as if holding back sobs. The woman shrugs and collects her friend for a hug.

    Like

  3. “I don’t care! Why would I care if there are instructions or not?”
    “Only authorized use of this microwave is approved for your lease, Ms. Puvvix.”
    “Just cook the picture.”
    “Only authorized use of thi-”
    “Just cook the fuckin picture! You’re a microwave! Microwave the fucking picture! Cook it! COOK IT!”
    Beep. Beep. Bloop. Beeee-ip.
    “Only authorized use of this microwave is approved for your lease, Ms. Puvvix.”
    “Oh… my god…”
    “Would you like to access the incinerator?”
    “What? What the shit?! You could’ve done that this whole time? Yes. Incinerator. Yes, please.”
    “Right away.”
    Ffa-poofff!
    “Would you like to incinerate the deposited item, Ms. Puvvix?”
    “Oh, my god, that was fast. Yes, cook it. Thank you. Wow. I’m sorry I yelled at you a second ago.”
    “It’s no problem, ma’am. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
    “Uh…nnnnnnnnnnn-no… Thank you.”
    “Of course, ma’am.”


    “Huh…”

    Like

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