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  1. Snow. Will this madness never end? Will the puppies continue to cavort uncontrollably in the the backyard, the buckets of snow well past their haunches, oblivious to the mayhem that lurks outside? Will school be canceled tomorrow? Will consumers race to the grocery store, eager to fill the driving void of nothingness? Will snow, grey white and plump as a chicken, give place to rain, gray tin, as comforting as corduroy, filling the greatness of our souls, forever endless, forever calm?

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  2. “3 aM” (a true story)

    MEEP! MEEP! MEEP!

    A swift awakening.

    MEEP! MEEP! MEEP!

    What the hell?

    MEEP! MEEP! MEEP! 

    Ugh, what the fuck?

    MEEP! MEEP! MEEP!

    Is it snowing outside?

    MEEP! MEEP! MEEP!

    Uh, I’ll check.

    MEEP! MEEP! MEEP!

    Yes. God, f—

    MEEP! MEEP! MEEP!

    —ucking dammit.

    MEEP! MEEP! MEEP!

    Do you have your hat?

    MEEP! MEEP! MEEP!

    Let’s use the outside … 

    MEEP! MEEP! MEEP!

    Yea, duh.

    MEEP! MEEP! MEEP!

    Rrrrrrrriiiiinnnnnngggggg …

    What ephing time is it? Do you have your phone?

    Uh, yea. I’ll check. It’s 2:48.

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  3. It gathered on her head, even in small drifts around her ears and the crown of her head which stuck out just a little bit further than average. If she stood perfectly still long enough, she may even find herself hiding amid a tall, woman-sized dune herself, which wouldn’t be the most conspicuous disguise she could imagine considering the gradually accumulating powder-scape in every conceivable direction around her. Like snow, she thought to herself, each little flake of it was incredibly light to the touch, but as it mounted, unlike the winter wonderlands of its benevolent cousin, she felt the weight of something devastating inside her, and the physical lightness of the matter only compounded its psychological burden.

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